WHY YOU CAN’T LOSE WEIGHT. HOW TO CHANGE YOUR FOCUS.

“I can’t lose weight. I keep failing. I can’t stay motivated. I can’t stop eating. I have children so it’s harder to focus on my goal.” If you feel this way you are not alone just know that. It is not just you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you are not weaker or less competent than those people who are showing their before and after photos. The only possibly wrong thing here is your thought process and your (lack of) self-belief.

1. YOU’RE FOCUSING ON THE WRONG THING

We decide to lose weight and what we think it means is setting an arbitrary number we want to see on our scales.

I touched on this in the Biggest loser article, where all the participants lost weight following a drastic intervention plan but they also all regained it after the competition ended. They focused on the number on the scale as opposed to making attainable changes to their lifestyle. 

What we want to achieve is change of habits. Things we do daily which we can then carry on doing forever. 

Weight loss is your destination, daily habits are the vehicle to get you there. Just as weight gain is an accumulation of everyday habits, weight loss requires the same. 

(..) success is about fulfilling the intent behind your action ~ Sadhguru

Forget the scales. Make your daily habits your focus. Write them down, stick the list on the fridge and try to accomplish those. Weight loss and health will follow.

Make your list of healthy habits your new scale, your new measure of progress. The more items you add to your list the more you can accomplish. Keep it attainable, doable and realistic.

Easiest way to do this it is to imagine your ideal day from the moment you wake up until bedtime and write down what it would look like with focus on health and weight loss. Make it your mission for this “ideal” day to become your reality.

2. IDENTIFY YOUR TRIGGERS

We all have trigger foods, situations and weaknesses. Identify these and remove them from your life or set a clear rule around these.

For example; my trigger food is peanut butter. I set a clear rule, I don’t cut it out of my diet and neither am I kidding myself by hoping next time I will be able to control myself. My clear rule is that I buy PB once a month on my period week. I eat the whole jar and move on. I look forward to indulging, it makes me feel better during that week and I don’t feel deprived because I know I will have it again next month.

If you can’t stop eating crisps or chocolate at night. Set a clear rule. For example; only buy crisps on Friday or Saturday and during the week munch on frozen fruit.

3. ALTERNATE

The every other day rule.

If you feel your habits are out of control at the moment, start by alternating your “normal” days with your new habits.

This way you’re cultivating new habits but don’t feel deprived, don’t feel stressed, don’t feel as though you’re being someone else. Observe how the “good” days make you feel physically and emotionally. Your good habits will eventually start infiltrating your “normal” days because that is what you want to achieve. 

4. GUIDELINES DON’T WORK

Guidelines require decision making, and constant decision making will eventually wear you out. This is why habits and clear rules work better. They minimise the need for will power.

For example: a guideline is, eat 80% healthy and 20% whatever you like. Every time you’re about to eat, you have to make a decision; Is this towards your 80 or 20% ? Are you still within the limit? This applies to calorie counting too, it wears people down through constant decision making.

On the other hand, a clear rule states; you only have crisps on friday or peanut butter once a month or takeout on your pay day. You set the rule and move on.

This is why intermittent fasting is a great and effective tool.

You know you’re not eating until your time/eating window comes. You’re not making decisions everytime you see food, or someone eats. Overtime, your rule will become a habit and you will do it without thinking about it. 

5. CULTIVATE CONFIDENCE NOT FEAR

I’m going to relate this to intermittent fasting.

If you think you can’t be around food when you’re fasting, or that you can’t cook for your family or you fear breaking your fast when you’re feeding your children or when people at work are offering you snacks, you are cultivating fear in your mind. You believe you’re weak and everything is going to sway you from your focus. You believe everything else is stronger than you and your decision.

Don’t live your life in fear and anticipation of failure. Don’t give power to others over your decisions.

Instead, reinforce your beliefs in your decision and face the world knowing you can’t be swayed.

Offer to cook for someone even though you’re fasting, feed your children with confidence, enter the canteen on your lunch break and drink your black coffee like a boss, manifest confidence, don’t moan or complain about not eating, fast with utmost conviction and watch other people’s attitude about you change.

Every time you stick to your decision your self confidence will grow. People will also notice and they will admire your strength.

Your “I can’t” will change to “ I can”.

6. DO IT FOR YOUR CHILDREN NOT DESPITE

I can’t lose weight because I have children.

Shift your thinking. Instead of I can’t lose weight because of having children, think you must lose weight for your children.

There is perhaps no more powerful motivation to become the healthiest version of yourself, to do whatever it takes to live longer, and to be the best role model than doing it for your children.

Your children watch, observe, learn and copy your behaviour and your habits.

They don’t know the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviour they are just copying what their parents do.

Become the healthiest you can be for your children and simultaneously set your children up to be the healthiest they can be so that they don’t ever feel helpless because of the habits they picked up from you. 

7. YOU CAN

People who lose weight are not special. They don’t have exceptional biology. 

We all have all it takes within us right now. 

Your thoughts play a big part in what you believe. You can’t, you’re weak, you have no will power, you can never be slim, that’s all negative self talk and I’m sorry to say it but it is all false. You are lying to yourself and believing your own lies. There. I exposed you. Time to start being honest with yourself. 

The truth is; You can make the right decisions for yourself, you can do it by yourself, you know what do to, you know what needs to be done, you can follow it through, you are in control of your habits and your beliefs, you are strong enough, smart enough, capable enough. 

You can lose weight and you can start right now. 

You 100% can. 

I hope you found this helpful xox